


PICTIONARY

by Song_of_the_Black_Wolf



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, Humor, Other, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 13:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11670159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Song_of_the_Black_Wolf/pseuds/Song_of_the_Black_Wolf
Summary: So we all now know that Levi is a terror at meetings . . . so what could possibly be worse?  How about adding a fidgety teenager in the form of Eren Jaeger to the mix? This is a one shot inspired by a number of memes I have seen online.





	PICTIONARY

_Blah, blah and fucking blah! Just get to the goddamn point already!_ Levi absolutely hated meetings of any kind.  Too many people in one confined space for one thing.  Meetings were extremely boring for another.   _I mean, shit, you gotta tell us how you first conceived of the plan, how the plan was born, when it took its first steps, when it said its first word . . . I don’t give a flying fuck HOW you came up with the plan!  Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it for goddess’ sake!_ Levi had leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest and silver eyes half closed.  It was a hard to tell just how bored he really was due to the fact that he looked bored all of the time; it was just his natural neutral expression.

 

Sitting beside him was a fidgety teenager.  Eren Jaeger had obviously gotten tired of waiting for Commander Erwin Smith to get to the point of this lengthy explanation.  The only reason the poor teen was stuck in this meeting between the three military branches was that Levi had to keep the titan shifter within thirty meters of him at all times.   _The kid’s looking a little glassy eyed,_ Levi observed.  His own eyelids were feeling heavier by the second, and soon closed entirely.

 

“I’m sorry, Levi.  Am I keeping you awake?”  Erwin sounded slightly annoyed.

 

“No you’re not, Erwin.  But that’s precisely the problem, isn’t it?”  Levi replied dryly.  Out of the corner of his eye he could see Eren beside him trying to suppress a giggle.  Across the table from him, Hange was doing the same.

 

Erwin just shook his head and continued.  Eren turned over one of the sheets of paper everyone had been given, and began doodling on it.  At first, Levi ignored the scratching of pencil on paper, but Erwin was beginning to look rather annoyed.  Curiosity eventually got the better of Levi, so he reached beside him and took the paper away from the green eyed boy.  Erwin sighed and thought, _Finally!  Levi is putting a stop to that childish scribbling!_

Levi examined the budding young artists handy work, while said artist sat there shoulders drawn up around his neck as if expecting to be strangled by the captain.  It was a picture of Erwin – a pretty fair facsimile thereof – with grossly exaggerated eyebrows.  Levi’s expression never changed, but he took Eren’s pencil, and began to scribble something on the paper next to Eren’s sketch. 

 

Erwin assumed that Levi must be writing down a chastisement to Eren for his childish behavior, and frankly, Eren thought the same thing.  Levi pushed the paper and pencil back to Eren.    The fifteen year old placed a hand over his mouth in shock.  There, next to his own caricature of Erwin, was another!  This one had, instead of eyebrows, a pair of fuzzy caterpillars, complete with big eyes and goofy smiles.  Poor Eren had all he could do not to burst out laughing.  The picture was funny on its own, but the fact that Levi was the one who drew it was what made it shockingly hilarious.

 

Speaking of eyebrows, Erwin raised one, but never stopped talking as he noted that Eren had started scribbling again.  _What the hell did Levi say to him??_

****

Both Zoe Hange and Mike Zacharius were watching the Eren and Levi with growing interest as the boy pushed the paper back in front of his captain.  Levi waited until Erwin’s back was turned to look down at the paper; an image of Erwin flying away on his eyebrow wings.  Levi looked over at his charge, his face emotionless, but clearly having mischief in his eyes.  He then began another doodle of his own.

 

Poor Eren choked on the laugh that tried to escape his throat as he saw the latest of Levi’s creations.  This time Erwin was holding two swords in his hands and two with his eyebrows and was slaying two titans at once. 

 

“Problem, Jaeger?” Erwin asked.

 

“Just trying to squelch a belch, sir!”  Eren replied.  Several sniggers went up around the table.

 

 This went on for a good half hour, resulting in Erwin’s eyebrows strangling people, Erwin without eyebrows, Erwin’s eyebrows getting off and walking around on their own,  Erwin's eyebrows as the real masterminds behind the Scouts' strategies, Erwin’s eyebrows being camouflaged throwing daggers, Erwin’s eyebrows in their “natural habitat”, Erwin’s eyebrows as a moustache and beard, Erwin’s magic eyebrows  and so on and so forth.   Eren’s inability to fully suppress his giggles got to be too much for Erwin.  Just as Eren was passing the paper back to Levi, Erwin’s hand slammed down on the table between them and picked up the paper, causing the teenager to jump, but not fazing the captain in the least.

 

Erwin looked at the paper in surprised silence as he stood behind the two creators.  “I think Eren is developing into quite the passable artist, don’t you?” Levi said with his usual lacking emotion.  Erwin instantaneously crumpled the paper loudly. That was the end of Eren; the hapless teen burst out laughing, wondering how it was Levi could say such things with a straight face.  Zoe and Mike exchanged glances, dying to know what was on that paper.

 

“Out!”  Erwin commanded as he dropped the paper into a trash basket, and both Zoe and Mike planning to raid said trash basket the instant the meeting ended.  “Both of you, OUT!”  Erwin pointed at the door for emphasis.  “If you two are going to act like children, then leave!  I’ll give you the notes and paperwork later.  Eren I can understand, but you, Levi . . .”

 

Levi and Eren were already out the door, ecstatic to be free.  The last thing everyone heard as the door was closed was Levi.  “Dammit, Eren!  Why do you have to be so goddamn funny?”


End file.
